So....I'm bored.
Now for all you redneck men...I've got a pocket knife for you. I've had this about 20 years. It's bigger in person (that's what she said), and weighs like 2 pounds.
Looks ridiculous in your hand. It's your basic 3 blade folding pocket knife, only about 3x normal size. Careful when you fold the blades back in cause the closing mechanism snaps the blade shut.