Washington Capitals Fan Forum
Talk about Capitals hockey & more! => Washington Capitals & Other Hockey Discussion => Topic started by: DC_1908 on Monday January 15, 2018, 12:00:23 PM Eastern
-
This thread is for OldHats personal reflections and insights amongst him/themselves . . .
;D
-
This thread is for OldHats personal reflections and insights amongst him/themselves . . .
;D
Come on DC. even if OldHat does like this idea, it will be come pages and unintelligible dialog, ramblings, multiple conversations, conversations crossing between peoples other personalities, GIFs of grotesquely obese chicks that can't get out of the house sans fork lift, probably Mick posting picks of what came out of the garden he has in his closet, beard maintenance and grooming tips, dogs and cats sleeping together, lesbian bum-fighting, beer reviews, silly puddy, and basically utter non-professional chaos. . .
This should probably go with the ABH threads, but it wouldn't fit in there either!
This is a terrible idea. . . . LETS DO THIS!
-
I knew you'd agree Detroit. . . .
8)
-
I interrupt DC responding to DC's response from DC only to encourage DC to continue responding to DC.
-
This thread is for OldHats personal reflections and insights amongst him/themselves . . .
;D
I have one question. How many people is Oldhat dealing with? Is Oldhat arguing with one individual or is he getting tagteamed?
-
:clown:
-
I have one question. How many people is Oldhat dealing with? Is Oldhat arguing with one individual or is he getting tagteamed?
Don’t worry man, this is 100% in good fun. Hat is a great guy (even puts up with the occasional drunk text)
A while ago, and I don’t remember why, but he started “talking and to himself” inside threads and it was, and is, completely hysterical! Particularly when others get invloved 🤣
So, we figured we should give him his own thread, (that is really nothing but seeing how goofy we can be 😇).
The only think to seriously in this one is having fun 😁
-
Lol I know. Ive seen him do it before. I lmao every time he does it. I actually wish he did it more often. We all need a good laugh.
-
Lol I know. Ive seen him do it before. I lmao every time he does it. I actually wish he did it more often. We all need a good laugh.
I just texted him and told him he has a present here 😁
So he should be around before long
-
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RyX_EZ3BRlE (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RyX_EZ3BRlE)
:rofl:
-
This is nice... Can I get anyone a drink?
-
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RyX_EZ3BRlE (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RyX_EZ3BRlE)
:rofl:
G
Horsefart? Yes.
Ultimate? No, I think not...
-
Starting the game late. I'll join the get when I catch up.
-
Starting the game late. I'll join the get when I catch up.
No one cares. What's a get?
-
No one cares. What's a get?
I think he means gdt.
-
I think he means gdt.
Yes, thanks. Stupid autocorrect.
-
Yes, thanks. Stupid autocorrect.
I hate it when that happens
-
Happy hour and 0 s!keep in 36 hours, may equal Zs sooner rather than later
-
Bleed you frog.
Close fight, but better shots and blood
Heh, hope they go again
-
Happy hour and 0 s!keep in 36 hours, may equal Zs sooner rather than later
heh 0 s!keep . . . gotta remember that
-
Bleed you frog.
Close fight, but better shots and blood
Heh, hope they go again
Indeed
-
heh 0 s!keep . . . gotta remember that
Guess I'm speaking DConese.
-
Guess I'm speaking DConese.
hell i was given you credit!
That’s a quality thumb/typo!
K and L are beside each other, so understandable
! and E are close,
but switching with a shift+missing the E, then missing the L with a K. . . that’s quality work!
-
;D
-
Is it too early to be having a new Belgium voodoo ranger imperial ipa?
-
Is it too early to be having a new Belgium voodoo ranger imperial ipa?
Not at all!
-
Is it too early to be having a new Belgium voodoo ranger imperial ipa?
Frackin lush!
-
Not at all!
No one cares, ya jerk. Why don't you start a poll...
-
No one cares, ya jerk. Why don't you start a poll...
Stick your poll up your b hole.
-
Is it too early to be having a new Belgium voodoo ranger imperial ipa?
I'm about to finish my first American Honey on the rocks
-
I'm about to finish my first American Honey on the rocks
A blond by the river, amirite?
-
I once saw a man argue with a library.
-
A blond by the river, amirite?
no, that time was a brunett.
-
Pointy rocks?
-
Pointy rocks?
I have sat over the rail tunnel at Point of Rocks and thrown the empties down on the train
-
Pointy rocks?
Ain’t it awesome when hot chicks are cold!!! :wackysmile:
-
RALLY FAT FITE CLUB IN THE UK!!!! :lol: :rofl: :lol: :clown: ::)
(Brought to us by the great Bearing, FYI if you’re at work, make sure you use headphones)
https://youtu.be/JdmLQ5q (https://youtu.be/JdmLQ5q_Gug)
-
What the hell are you doin Nisky!
-
What a goal by Abby!!
-
Jesus Holts where tryin to flip off Nisky instead watching the break away??
-
me thinks someone posted in the wrong thread, I wonder what Hat thinks about it
-
RALLY FAT FITE CLUB IN THE UK!!!! :lol: :rofl: :lol: :clown: ::)
(Brought to us by the great Bearing, FYI if you’re at work, make sure you use headphones)
https://youtu.be/JdmLQ5q (https://youtu.be/JdmLQ5q_Gug)
What the he'll did I just watch... :O=
-
me thinks someone posted in the wrong thread, I wonder what Hat thinks about it
I have now seen someone argue with a key...
-
What the he'll did I just watch... :O=
liberal feminist snowflakes, ain't no way in hell that *cough*woman*cough* got catcalled
-
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2fOP8q3GNBQ
-
What the he'll did I just watch... :O=
Rally Fats Fights . . . But Batshit Crazy- Euro Marxist who don’t know Engels is let alone read the manifesto trash
But by-god these “things” are funny!!!
-
liberal feminist snowflakes, ain't no way in hell that *cough*woman*cough* got catcalled
Apparently “for the love of Christ go away”, or “move you’re in the way of us looking at hot chicks!” is now pig calling
Oh I’m sorry, is pig not PC? Ok Pigkind
-
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2fOP8q3GNBQ (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2fOP8q3GNBQ)
Bearing. . . Is, AWESOME!!!! I’ve been following him and a Pateron of his for years
And there’s also . . . Doooomm
https://youtu.be/0OMAQiMOJ68 (https://youtu.be/0OMAQiMOJ68)
-
Bearing. . . Is, AWESOME!!!! I’ve been following him and a Pateron of his for years
And there’s also . . . Doooomm
https://youtu.be/0OMAQiMOJ68 (https://youtu.be/0OMAQiMOJ68)
well, that might be ok for you, but I identify as an Apache Longbow ;D
-
Where are you,my luvverly? Your thread seems to have been hi-jacked.
-
rally fat
be proud of what you are, I suppose....
147kg=324 pounds
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MWin3dgZZio (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MWin3dgZZio)
-
Where are you,my luvverly? Your thread seems to have been hi-jacked.
I am a part time shepherd and get no service out in the fields. Problems with the flock has had me busy.
-
Anyone know any good limericks?
-
There once was a Red Rocker from Nantucket. . .
-
Anyone know any good limericks?
Did you get kicked out of the GDT?
-
Anyone know any good limericks?
back whe this came out I had a Kenwood, MBQuatz, Kicker 120 honest watts by 4 channels in a regular cab pickup, the people on the other side of the intersection could here this clearly, and were laughing
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aTKZRire8Wg (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aTKZRire8Wg)
-
So this is where you all been hanging out.... not bad.
Box
-
So this is where you all been hanging out.... not bad.
Box
Thanks man!
The old plane became a total shitshow with CapsAdmin, so alta, arj, and I started this one (with ArJ doing the tech.). We reached out to as many of the regulars as we could, I thought I PMd you the link bit apologize if you didn’t get it . . .
But yeah, the goal is to improve the good things of the old boards and eliminate the bad, and so far we’re doin a great job with more to come for the playoffs and next season.
Glad you’re here!
-
So this is where you all been hanging out.... not bad.
Box
Hey there Box.
Can I get you a drink?
-
I don't know why, but this came in my email...
https://www.pipehittersunion.com/
my first thought was its a Carlson fan club, but that's not remotely close
-
I don't know why, but this came in my email...
https://www.pipehittersunion.com/ (https://www.pipehittersunion.com/)
my first thought was its a Carlson fan club, but that's not remotely close
Well I'm not sure what that's aboot. The Dice takes me back. Had a cassette tape. Some asshole borrowed and never returned it. Snapperhead.
-
Hello everybody
-
Hello everybody
No one wants to talk to you...
-
No one wants to talk to you...
ppffftttttt
-
I want to talk to you. :wackysmile:
-
If you put up a pic of Jensen Ackles I would want to talk to you even more :whatahunk: .......... Jus' sayin'
-
I want to talk to you. :wackysmile:
Well hey there little lady. 8)
-
If you put up a pic of Jensen Ackles I would want to talk to you even more :whatahunk: .......... Jus' sayin'
Sounds like a disease....
-
I think I have bad gas.....
In my mower.
-
I think I have bad gas.....
In my mower.
Don't leave it in there all winter, moron. Drain it and check the carb.
-
Don't leave it in there all winter, moron. Drain it and check the carb.
No shit sherlock.
-
No shit sherlock.
just give a high school $20 bucks to do the lawn, thats what I did after track practice and/or before work to stay ln shape for the next season. . .
Support your local high school football by participating in the "Yard Work For Beer Money Campaign"
(hell with Booster Clubs: cut grass, stack firewood, trim trees, etc for beer money. . .)
-
just give a high school $20 bucks to do the lawn, thats what I did after track practice and/or before work to stay ln shape for the next season. . .
Support your local high school football by participating in the "Yard Work For Beer Money Campaign"
(hell with Booster Clubs: cut grass, stack firewood, trim trees, etc for beer money. . .)
yea, kids don't want to do that type of work these days. It would require non snowflake type parents and teachers that taught instead of indoctrinate. The few good teachers left tend to go with the flow lest they be harassed at work for being conservite
-
yea, kids don't want to do that type of work these days. It would require non snowflake type parents and teachers that taught instead of indoctrinate. The few good teachers left tend to go with the flow lest they be harassed at work for being conservite
Not me ;)
-
Yo Old Hat,
Good luck on your visits to the hens boards this series.
Represent with your typical class.
:capslogo:
-
Yo Old Hat,
Good luck on your visits to the hens boards this series.
Represent with your typical class.
:capslogo:
It's still not back...
-
It's still not back...
I highly doubt the NHL blocked access by IPs outside of the general shitsburgh
region. Also very unlikely they shut down the boards between the end of round 1 and now. Odd situation.
There is no longer a link to the discussion boards at Hens.com either.
-
I highly doubt the NHL blocked access by IPs outside of the general shitsburgh
region. Also very unlikely they shut down the boards between the end of round 1 and now. Odd situation.
There is no longer a link to the discussion boards at Hens.com either.
Yeah for sure. Weird time to kill it.
-
Pens site still gone.
-
Pens site still gone.
meh, puck em
-
meh, puck em
Looks like the format of the entire site finally changed. Theirs was still like the old caps site before the last change. Still weird concerning the timing of it all.
I'd be driving them crazy right now defending Wilson. My avatar was "Wilson" from castaway. 8)
-
Their format should be:
❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️😥😥😥😭😭😭😞❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️
-
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DfJHHOrXcAALAjg?format=jpg&name=small)
People can we be adults here?
-
Bewbs!!! :wackysmile:
-
This team... Lights out.
Not even that they did it, but how they did it. WE HAVE A CUP!!! CAPS WIN!!!
-
Don't know that I'll get a Cup champs shirt or hat but I did just order a 4 puck series set and a 4 puck Caps Cup champs display case.
16 win post season ... Priceless.
-
I knew I shoulda sold my glue stocks Friday (Ō_ƆŎ)
-
Wut?
-
um, a certain horse race went better than expected
-
So... Anyone catch the awards tonight?
I missed it. Not that I care too much. Really just wanted to see if Nick and OV were still drunk. I'm sure NBCSN will rebroadcast at some point...
-
So... Anyone catch the awards tonight?
I missed it. Not that I care too much. Really just wanted to see if Nick and OV were still drunk. I'm sure NBCSN will rebroadcast at some point...
I started watching it when the Nats got stopped for rain, immediately turned it off when they did that fukin stupid skit about the guy that takes care of the Cup getting hurt and some dumbfuk filling in for him
-
So, it looks like the old board is gone... We killed it...
-
So, it looks like the old board is gone... We killed it...
We didn't kill it, management did, by overreacting to something they didn't even bother to verify the facts of
-
this is becoming a daily occorance at my place....
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=B6S4Pxbygz8
-
So, it looks like the old board is gone... We killed it...
They may just be doing another update (who knows why), it doesn’t give an 404 error.
-
They may just be doing another update (who knows why), it doesn’t give an 404 error.
when the MLB shut down their boards at the beginning of the season there was no 404 error
-
404 did show for a while when the pens board disappeared...
-
It's hot as hades. I've been digging up old posts - and the concrete - to replace part of my fence. If I stop posting I'm dead.
-
It's hot as hades. I've been digging up old posts - and the concrete - to replace part of my fence. If I stop posting I'm dead.
Suck it up pansy...
-
Hat - I refused to 'suck it up' in the Kettler Iceplex line to get a photo with the Cup. My buddy Steve waited SIX HOURs in the Heat from Hades here in my hometown of Arlington. But I got a nice pic with some ravishing Red Rockers, and a pic of Slapshot, the Cup, etc. What a great day to be a Caps' fan it was.
Suck it up pansy...
-
I guess that's that, Hat must've succumbed to the heat :(
-
Hat - I refused to 'suck it up' in the Kettler Iceplex line to get a photo with the Cup. My buddy Steve waited SIX HOURs in the Heat from Hades here in my hometown of Arlington. But I got a nice pic with some ravishing Red Rockers, and a pic of Slapshot, the Cup, etc. What a great day to be a Caps' fan it was.
My son really wanted to go... I was not persuaded.
-
I guess that's that, Hat must've succumbed to the heat :(
https://youtu.be/dGFXGwHsD_A
-
https://youtu.be/dGFXGwHsD_A (https://youtu.be/dGFXGwHsD_A)
that's funny, I just pulled up the killer rabbit to post elsewhere
-
that's funny, I just pulled up the killer rabbit to post elsewhere
Run away!!!!
-
I soiled my armor....
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tgj3nZWtOfA
-
and their other masterpiece :rofl:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=elH6gBsXOhA
-
There are so many!
-
he's convinced me...
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=z0O_VYcsIk8
-
sure is boring around here
-
sure is boring around here
well, I didnt get to the liquor store today, so I just opened a bottle of Bullit 10 year Ive had for a while, . . .maybe that'll livin things up
-
sure is boring around here
Yep. I was checking in pretty regularly but it was so dead I haven't been on in a few days.
-
Yep. I was checking in pretty regularly but it was so dead I haven't been on in a few days.
The summer doldrums, should be over in a couple more weeks
-
Notdeadyet.... :raspberry:
-
Wings extend Dylan Larkin to 5yr 6m (https://www.freep.com/story/sports/nhl/red-wings/2018/08/10/detroit-red-wings-re-sign-dylan-larkin-five-year-contract/956356002/)
hmmm, this has the potential to be a great deal at a hometown discount, or not . . .
-
I hope everyone is keeping there sporting equipment clean! Well, the men anyway....
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mPwhMoQBg_8
-
I hope everyone is keeping there sporting equipment clean! Well, the men anyway....
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mPwhMoQBg_8 (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mPwhMoQBg_8)
you’d think she’d know better then to use a course brush on them . . .
-
you’d think she’d know better then to use a course brush on them . . .
meh, some people are into that kind of thing. Ive seen video proof of it 8)
-
meh, some people are into that kind of thing. Ive seen video proof of it 8)
. . . thanks for not showing 🤣
-
:lol:
-
The Louisiana State Police had received numerous reports of illegal cock fighting being held in the area around Abbeville and had sent their famous Detective Boudreaux from Thibodeaux to investigate. Boudreaux promptly began his investigation and then reported to his Commander the next morning.
"Dey is tree main groups involve in dis rooster Fightin", he began.
"Good work! Who are they?" the Commander asked.
Boudreaux replied confidently, "De Texas Aggies, de local Cajuns, and de Demcratic Natnal Char from N'awlins".
Puzzled, the Commander asked, "Now Boudreaux, how did you find all that out in one night?"
"Well," he replied, "I went down and done seen dat rooster fight in person. And I knowed immediately dat dem Aggies was involved when a Duck was entered in the fight."
The Commander nodded, "I'll buy that. But what about the others?"
Boudreaux nodded knowingly, "Well, I knowed de Cajuns was involved when sumbody bet on de duck!"
"Ah, I see, I see ... " sighed the sergeant, "And how did you figure the DNC was involved?"
"De duck won!"
-
Hat has lost his flock :(
-
Hat has lost his flock :(
😆😆🤣
yeah where the hell has The Bread been?
-
just . . . because
https://youtu.be/ARXHHevvr6Q (https://youtu.be/ARXHHevvr6Q)
-
does anyone remember when Comedy Central was actual comedy?....
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JBC-9k3y1ew (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JBC-9k3y1ew)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=D7oXFmuUHLQ
-
I think I'm in Love ! :lmao:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtBLqkh5u8k (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtBLqkh5u8k)
Now I know what Canadian men do during those long boring winters. :disbelief:
-
I don't even want to know the search words that found that 8)
-
Hat.. Speak to us old timer!! Hope all's well my friend..
-
I think I'm in Love ! :lmao:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtBLqkh5u8k (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtBLqkh5u8k)
Now I know what Canadian men do during those long boring winters. 8-0
Is that you Ajr? :wackysmile:
-
this seems awfully familiar, but I can't quite put my finger on it :huh: .....
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wxrbOVeRonQ
-
The admin here needs to do a better job of monitoring who is joining this group. We have a new member, an elderly man. He’s been privately messaging members, sending naked pictures of himself in nasty poses along with close ups of his unmentionables. He is offering an iPhone 8+ in exchange for sexual favors. I am especially bothered because it turned out to be an iPhone 6 and something’s obviously wrong with it because it’s really slow and the caps lock is stuck on.
-
:-\
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=acI12jO0HSQ
:lol:
-
An old blind man walks into an all-women biker bar and takes a seat at one of the bar stools. He orders a whiskey and says “Hey bartender! Care to hear a blonde joke?” The women next to the man says “Hey there cowboy, to be fair, being blind and all I figured I’d give you a heads up. We’re an all-women bar, the bartender is a blonde with a baseball bat. The bouncer is a blonde black belt. I’m a 6 foot 6, 170 pound professional wrestler. Our chef is a blonde professional weight lifter. Our DJ is a blonde and she’s a professional fighter with a billy club. Are you sure you still want to tell that joke?
The man thinks about it for a second and says “You know what, I’ll keep it to myself. I don’t want to have to explain it 5 times
-
A guy walks into an ice rink with a monkey.
The monkey grabbed some olives off the bar and ate them.
Then he grabbed some sliced limes and ate them.
He then jumped onto the ice and grabbed a puck.
To everyone's amazement, he stuck it in his mouth and somehow managed to swallow it whole.
The bartender looked at the guy and said, "Did you see what your Monkey just did?"
"No, what?" replied the man.
"He just ate the hockey puck...whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in sight. Sorry and don't worry, I'll pay for the puck."
The guy finished his drink, paid his bill, paid for all the stuff the Monkey ate and left.
Two weeks later the guy came back, and had his monkey with him.
He ordered a drink and the monkey started running around the bar.
The Monkey found a maraschino cherry on the bar.
He grabbed it, stuck it up his butt, pulled it out, and then ate it.
Then the monkey found a peanut, and again stuck it up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it.
The bartender asked, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
"No, what?" replied the man.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his arsh, pulled them out, and ate them!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy.
"He will eat anything, but ever since he had to pass that hockey puck, he measures everything first."
-
A farmer stopped by the local mechanic to have his truck fixed
They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.
While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?
The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.'
The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?'
'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.'
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?'
The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'
The old lady replied,
'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens
-
I was sitting at a long stop light yesterday, thinking about what I would do to keep busy during retirement, minding my own business and patiently waiting for the light to turn green. An old Nissan full of bearded, young, loud Islamic extremists shouting Anti-American slogans, with a half-burned American Flag duct-taped on the trunk of their car, and a "Remember 9-11" slogan spray painted on the side, stopped next to me.
Suddenly they yelled, "Allah Akbar! Praise Allah! Death to America!" and took off before the light changed. Out of nowhere an 18-wheeler truck came speeding through the intersection and ran directly over their car, crushing it completely and killing everyone in it.
For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself, "Man . . .that could have been me!”
So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a truck driver.
-
I was sitting at a long stop light yesterday, thinking about what I would do to keep busy during retirement, minding my own business and patiently waiting for the light to turn green. An old Nissan full of bearded, young, loud Islamic extremists shouting Anti-American slogans, with a half-burned American Flag duct-taped on the trunk of their car, and a "Remember 9-11" slogan spray painted on the side, stopped next to me.
Suddenly they yelled, "Allah Akbar! Praise Allah! Death to America!" and took off before the light changed. Out of nowhere an 18-wheeler truck came speeding through the intersection and ran directly over their car, crushing it completely and killing everyone in it.
For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself, "Man . . .that could have been me!”
So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a truck driver.
:huh:
For real?
-
:huh:
For real?
:lol:
-
A gas station owner in Arkansas was trying to increase his sales. So he put up a sign that read: "Free Sex with Fill-Up, just guess the right number between 1 and 10."
Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his Free Sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly he would get his Free Sex. The redneck guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry. No Free Sex this time."
A week later, the same redneck, along with his brother, Bubba, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his Free Sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. The redneck guessed 2 this time. The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no Free Sex this time."
As they were driving away, the redneck said to his brother, "I think that game is rigged, and he doesn't really give away Free Sex." Bubba replied, "No it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged. My wife won twice last week"
-
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's truck and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered he door if they could spend the night. "I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house".
"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about six months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend. He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 6 months ago?""Yes, I do." said Bob
"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"
"Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out "I have to admit that I did."
"And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"
Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did." "Why do you ask?"
"She just died and left me everything.
-
A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said 'How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancée is still a virgin in every way. The doctor told him, 'I'll have to put your willie in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight, it should be okay next week. He took four tongue depressors, formed a neat little 4 sided splint and taped it all together; an impressive work of art. The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries her, and goes on their honeymoon. That night in the hotel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal her beautiful breasts. She said, 'You're the first; no one has EVER touched these. 'He immediately drops his pants and replies, 'Look at this, still in the CRATE!'
-
8-0
Where is Old Hat anyway? Miss that old fucker!! :hearts:
-
A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said, "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind. "The pastor shouted out "CROSS". Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, "THE OLD RUGGED CROSS". The pastor hollered out "GRACE". The congregation began to sing "AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound". The pastor said, "POWER". The congregation sang "THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD". The Pastor said "SEX". The congregation fell into total silence. Everyone was in shock. They All nervously began to look around at each other, afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, a little old 87-year-old grandmother stood up and began to sing "PRECIOUS MEMORIES".